him, him and him...

three guys, the nerd, the adrenalin junkie and the player. one is already taken, the second one isn't in love anymore and the third one doesn't wanna committed but only wanna bang. these are the three guys i used to like, of my lists of ex-es, these are my three favorites. all from different age group but still in their early, mid 20's, different backgrounds, race, lifestyle, style, job, different point of view and different level maturity. and the one thing all of them have in common? it didn't work. these are three most common type of guys every girl should date before ACTUALLY being in a relationship. here's my research:
p/s: results may vary.

• THE NERD

He's a nerd alright, not romantic, doesn't know to be mushy and stuff with girls, total emotionless creature. how i was attracted to him? god knows! i can't believe i actually had a crush on this dude. well, I've always have this thing for nerds which, i kinda find them sexy hahaha but this dude, i don't know. he was a good friend,a good listener, he's funny, smart and i find him cute, did mention hot?? he never failed to make me laugh and he laughs at all my jokes! maybe that could been all the reasons. he's not the type that you can expect to do all those romantic stuffs like you see in the movies, NOT AT ALL! but he could be romantic alright if he tried. because maybe i guess he wasn't attracted to me the way i was attracted to him. i was kinda young then, typical teenager, attitude and was rude. (i still am but,back then i was WAY too rude) he's silent, doesn't talk much while I'm talkative! that could have been a turn off for him. he was always helpful, never failed to teach especially when it comes to all this computer thingamajigs which, i have no idea of! I've always find this dude interesting. its not only cos the "thang" i had for nerds but it was just him. then it all ended,it never actually started to end. he wasn't ready and he simply wasn't into me like i was into him. geesh! so ladies, nerds are heart breakers too. hahaha but they're very helpful, kind, sensitive people. and trust me grrls, these guys can be a heart throb, who needs Orlando bloom or Johnny Depp? they have the "unleashed" romeo in them! now nerdy romeo is already taken and he, who wasn't ready for a relationship is actually in a relationship with his girlfriend numero duos.

• THE ADRENALIN JUNKIE
  

NO, he's not a JUNKIE, he's an adrenalin junkie, meaning he's addicted to CARS not DRUGS. these are the most common type of guys around. well, guys and cars are in separable just like guys and balls (and i meant both BALLS) this dude over here would never seem like the person he actually looks like. he looks like a hard ass, adrenalin junkie metal rocker but, in fact he's a very romantic, passionate, poetic (he's in a band and he's the vocalist cum bassist) he's everything a girl can wish of. did i mention he ADORES his car so damn much! but never fails to pay attention to his girl. hahaha. he'd make you feel like you're the most beautiful creature on earth surface, like a queen and like you're a priceless treasure. now this guy here, he has a way with words! damn! any girl after listening to his words would be a stone not to fall for him! he as loyal as a puppy! but ironically he's a total opposite of me. he's silent I'm loud, he not a party person I'm a party animal, occasional drinker i drink every chance i get to, loves spicy food and I'd die eating them! but its fun being with him. he's very respectful, modest, determined, obedient, a total marrying material. he's the kinda guy you'd wanna bring home and show your parents. the down sides?? well, as for me i found him selfish! he would bitch about how crappy his days were his stresses, and yada yada but when it comes to my turn he'd go "owh? ok" WTF! that would never fail to pluck on my very last nerves! and he's stubborn. talking to him about something is pointless, just like talking to the wall! This kinda dude, maybe you'd wanna hold on to, they'd change for wiser reasons.

• THE PLAYER

Another word for danger! watch out girls. this is the type of guys you should avoid. these are the perfect insensitive jerks! all they ever care about is SEX and getting on the "game" that is why they're called players! we're their game! they'd play you out. how to spot them?
simple:

• killer looks,
  
• total hotties,
  
• hot ride!
  
• smooth talker ( if you analyze a little deeper, you'd realize the selfishness and cockiness)
  
• flirtatious!
  
• they're never sensitive towards your feelings or needs. such self centered dick heads!
• they'd get together with you JUST to get in your pants. once its done, its done! like duh...!

remember! never to get emotionally involved with these guys! heart break guaranteed ladies! always one step forwards to steps back ladies! and not to expect anything in return; as in being emotionally involved or getting together or even WORST, getting married! that's a big NO! NO! and typically players, past midnight, they'd get all horny and loved to have phone sex with you. total commitment phobes. and in case you can't spot any of the above traits in a guy, here's a tip: if you ever feel intimidated by him, his looks, you fear that he'd cheat on you and feel he only likes to for your look and your body, congratulations! you've got yourself a player! trust your instincts. well, i have nothing good to say about these kinda dudes. they're only good physically apart than that it's just nothing!

-FIN-

blown away...

thank god its Friday. hmmm.. i often wonder why do they say "thank god its Friday"?? i mean why not thank god its Saturday or thank god its Wednesday or something. what so special about Fridays anyways? ooh! i know maybe its cos Friday is the beginning of the weekend THEN only comes Saturday and Sunday. sleek! its cute though. very well then, thank god its Friday cos it is Friday today! hahaha. and the weather today is awesome! its sunny and windy. wow.. beautiful! just my type of weather. how soothing and serene. i was walking to my campus and wind was blowing so strong, not strong like the storm but just like when its fall. you know its always windy during the fall right? i just love the feeling when the wind blow through my hair. its so wow! i don't know what to say. its lovely and beautiful. its priceless, the feeling that i get every time the wind blows through my hair. i feel peace and serenity. its just like the wind is not only blowing through my hair, but it also blows away my sorrows, just like that! now this what i call gone with the wind! hahaha.. its a beautiful weather on a beautiful, calm Friday. the weather makes me sing! especially having the wind blowing at my face and the sounds of the wind, mind blowing! its like falling in love, just like how we watch in the movies. maybe, i guess, this is how falling in love feels? i cant really tell, been in and out of love so darn fast, i didn't even know what i felt! hahaha. the sound of the wind is like a magical music! makes feel just like being home. well, i don't usually get this kind of winds back at my hometown because in my hometown its summer through out the year. think California and Malibu beach. that's my hometown. its close to the sea but not as windy.but its the feeling of calm and peace that makes me feel like home. after all, home is where the heart is ain't it? its so therapeutic. for once, i can actually NOT think of what's have been bothering me, that made me feel just great! its so distressing. i feel so poetic because of the wind. reminds me of one of William Shakespeare's sonnets. the wind today just made me feel so different, its like listening to Beautiful Day- by U2 through the wind. i feel appreciated. when the blows at me, i feel like being walked by a bunch of angels. their following me. i love the wind, I've always have. the serenity and calmness I've experienced today....priceless! i am blown away by the wind..............

of guys and sex

its like the new synonym , guys and sex. are all the guys equally as horny all the time? i mean how many times in a minute do they actually think about sex? 10? 100? or maybe thats what they think about all the time? i wish i could figure out this somehow rather weird phenomenon. its really frustrating that when you go out with a guy and all that he wants from you is to get in your pants! thats sick and low down! don't anyone wait till marriage to have sex already?? is being promiscuous the "it" thing now? and what bites me is that how in some society people are being so bias bout this issue. its ok for a guy to be promiscuous but if a girl does the same she's labeled a slut whore and all kinds on names i wouldn't even wanna know. well what happened to gender equality? wait a minute! i am NOT saying that girls should be promiscuous too! no! not at all! its just that, from my random research about 'the male behavior', guys would go out and have fun with girls who are jovial, outspoken and partilicious girls JUST to have fun BUT those are NOT the girls they wanna settle down with. no! after all the fun and when its time to settle down and get hitched, guess what? they'd opt to an ordinary down to earth simple plain janes! this is very offending! well sad to say most guys are very insensitive towards all this small things. females often worry about the small bits and pieces that males usually forget about, and thats a fact. i have always noticed that even the smartest guy,the genius or what-so-ever isn't that smart after all! why? they cant figure out even the simplest thing, females! and they accuse us for being deep, mysterious yada yada! they just fail to read between the lines, which! they totally suck at of course. well they just don't bother because half the time they'd be busy ogling over breasts or butts. guys would easily say i just wanna have sex with you and no commitments or strings attached!before you could bash me up with your criticisms, this is NOT a about male bashing and im certainly not being a sexist. im just sharing my random research and experience with different characters of guys. the question here is are guys entirely sex minded? is it their obsession? is it all that they look for in a relationship? i met this guy recently. actually we've known each other for quite some time but it wasn't till a few countless rejections he received for me that i started going out with him. this particular guy here., lets call him moron, cos thats what he is. he cute, really hot, good job, good pay, and a HOT ride. i must admit i really adore his car. he's 24. and i gotta admit that i often feel the slightest intimidation towards his looks, certainly not as promiscuous as him. and this dude here has a problem with commitments. geesh! watta turn off y'all. i really like him (liked him to be exact) but he thinks I'm the kind of girl who would anything for the guy she likes. gosh! which century is he from? too bad, I'm much more wiser and practical than he is, he keeps pressuring me to sleep with him. are you kidding me or what! he even said "lets have sex first then we can be together" what the ......? this thing really shocked me. i mean i cant believe someone would actually say that to another person. im not just a meat that you'd love to screw! gimme a break. this is so disrespecting. where is the respect? dont anyone respect anybody anymore?? and some guys even have this perception that being open minded is being able to dirty talk. bad joke y'all! what im trying to say is, in the society right now, i mean most Malaysians are pretty much westernized in their lifestyle, sex is something so casual. i mean who could think of a video clip with out a half naked female dancing her booties out? sex is no longer a taboo like it used to be. teenagers as young as 14 gets laid! where is the moral? aren't we supposedly be the "conservative" easterners? is sex now a culture and something casual?

fringe, fringey fringed!

yeah babey!!!!!!!!!! its fringe! ive finally gotten my fringe after so darn long! ive always loved fringes, i think they look good on me! it makes me feel and look sexy! and yeah i just got back from the salon with my brand new look (again!) looking hotter than ever! i feel brand new! gosh! this fringe that i got now is different from the one i had previously, the one that i have now is shorter. my friends are like "you look hot!" my house mates notyiced the new hair do immediately, they were like "you cut your hair?? woah.. you look nice! how much did you you paid?" boy was i flattered or what? hahaha. well i cant help it! i just feel so sexy i think eva longoria would wanna spend the next few weeks hanging out with me! (i wish!) i just cant stop looking at myself in the mirror! i could just stare at myself (AND!) the fringe all day long without a blink! gosh! im obsessed with my fringe! WELL! laydees, always remember that u gotta love yourself and the way you look. and thats what im doing now hahaha im loving myself and the way i look! you'll look perfect and beautiful to the whole wide world if you look beautiful to yourself.

the world through my eyes...

people. people. people. i just love the people. all shapes and sizes, colors and style. varieties of them! and it just keeps getting better! everyone are just as special and unique in their own way! extraordinary. try walking in the streets of kuala lumpur you'd see all sorts of people, ranging from a baby, teenager, an adult and even elderly people. I've always been fascinated looking at them, their gestures, reactions and their movements. just beautiful. looking at the beauty of life. who says life's only about you going through a rough day at work or the ups and downs or whatever crap someone came up with about life! to me life is people! these are the main elements that make life LIFE! without them i mean it'd just be nothing. we work with people, eat with them, talk with them, party with them, sing, or even to have sex! can you imagine yourself living all alone in this world? if you were given the opportunity to have this world all for yourself would you choose to be alone? its PEOPLE y'all! a dirty senile old man is also the beauty of life. how so? well has it ever occurred to you that he might just be the living proof that says life isn't always filled with rainbows and butterflies? often we look at such people, which, i bet most of us would go "I'd make sure that NEVER happens to me", right? and that dude that picks up your stinky garbage daily, that dude that sweeps the road and makes sure its clean, the dude that just unclogged your drainage system, they're the daily unsung heroes! would you want your son be a garbage collector or a drainage cleaner when he's older? honestly, i wouldn't want my son to do all that work. these are the jobs that usually most of us( sometimes even me) go "eeeuuww!!" but someone's gotta do it right? the world through my eyes, not only filled with people, its filled with heroes and extraordinary people.

the song of my heart

do you have one song that could make you smile even through the deepest darkest of your days? that one song that feels magical to listen to. the song is a magical healer for me! its beautiful day from u2. there is something about this song that just makes me feel so fresh and green. it works like a storm wind that blow away all my worries and sadness.

The heart is a bloom, shoots up through stony ground But there's no room, no space to rent in this town You're out of luck and the reason that you had to care, The traffic is stuck and you're not moving anywhere. You thought you’d found a friend to take you out of this place Someone you could lend a hand in return for grace It's a beautiful day, the sky falls And you feel like it's a beautiful day It’s a beautiful day Don’t let it get away You’re on the road but you’ve got no destination You’re in the mud, in the maze of her imagination You love this town even if it doesn’t ring true You’ve been all over and it’s been all over you It's a beautiful day Don’t let it get away It's a beautiful day Don’t let it get away Touch me, take me to that other place Teach me, I know I’m not a hopeless case See the world in green and blue See China right in front of you See the canyons broken by cloud See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out See the bedouin fires at night See the oil fields at first light See the bird with a leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out It was a beautiful day A beautiful day Don’t let it get away Touch me, take me to that other place Reach me, I know I'm not a hopeless case What you don’t have you don’t need it now What you don’t know you can feel it somehow What you don’t have you don’t need it now You don’t need it now, you don’t need it now Beautiful day

the music of u2 have always been about heart and mind, body and soul. its not just rock. its more than that. i just love this song! it never fails to do its magic! it works for me all the time! makes me feel brand new when im feeling all old and rusty, makes me feel sky high when im feeling so low, makes me feel like bionic woman when im feeling weak. it gives me some sort of enthusiastic feeling. it makes me feel like a zillion dollars! and trust me, its not only because Bono is so hot (even if he's old). the band is not only about rock music, its more than that. bono is a humanitarian. the band u2 supports all key organizations like The Burma Campaign UK , (Red), ONE, Amnesty International, Green Peace, Chernobyl Children's Project , this is just a few to be named. u2 have used benefit concerts, songwriting, public campaigning, special visits and fund raising projects to promote a range of charities and activist communities worldwide. down the years, the have successfully thrown a spotlight on the work of key campaigning groups who are trying to make the world a better place. way to go! what have you done to make the world a better place?

crisis, crisis,crisis

its known as mid life crisis when you're 40, so, ladies and gentlemen, presenting the new, mathematically engineered term, (drum rolls) period. quarter life crisis!! this happens when you're 20! quarter life crisis, people! and trust me this is even worst than mid life crisis cos it practically paralyzes you're life, WHICH! is just about to develop and improve. it all starts when you mistakenly almost washed your face with your shampoo, mistaken the facial wash tube for your toothpaste tube and almost brushed your teeth with the facial cleanser. constant bitching about everything everyone.whiner.pessimistic. unreal. severe day dreaming. irrational. sloth. slob. getting older. still acting like kid, cant make up own mind. decisions. decisions. decisions. failing exams. jinx-ed in love. broke up.still single. never been kissed. no driver's license. always taken for granted. lousy campus friends. friend's leaving to a different campus, immature classmates. surrounded by uncivilized, shallow wanna be's. living in a scary area. boring town. small state. unreliable mates. feeling fat (NOT phat!!) and shapeless. eating a lot.wasting time. lazy. bumming around.dumb. insecure. paranoid. lost. clueless. miss someone you not sure is missing you back. being judged. debts. rents. books. over spending. lavish. decreasing bank account.debtors. midterm exams. bad role model.stacked up laundry. thinning hair. stretch marks. dropping grades. under performing. lonely.tripping. falling.bored.waiting for a miracle.......keep waiting........ cause this is just the tip of the iceberg, baby!

emotions..........

im full of emotions right now.. i feel sad, i feel down, i feel depressed, i feel tired, i feel like giving up, i feel lonely, i feel bad, i feel stupid, i feel weird, i feel like a loser, i feel pathetic, i feel small, i feel low, i feel sad, i feel stressed,i feel hopeless, i feel helpless, i feel lost, i feel worthless, feel everything! honestly im tired of living already, breathing seems like an obligation and a tough job now. i feel heavy taking the next step in everything. maybe im just being a drama queen. or am i? i miss someone... i feel like a moron even bother thinking bout that person cos i wonder does he even spend the slightest second thinking of me! i failed my maths! i feel like such a loser!! why cant i do maths?? am i the only one who cant even do the simplest equations of additional maths? is there anyone like me? i feel stupefied! and im fat!! owh gosh! is it the end of the world yet? my life feels like a TRAGIC COMEDY, the jokes' always on ME!! sometimes i just wonder, what am i actually doing here? im 20 years old, i can't make up my own mind, im so under achieved and im so fickle minded! i keep failing in everything i do. honestly i really feel like killing myself. i just cant go on any further! but why?? what happened to me? im getting lazier and stupider!what am i so afraid off? i feel so darn fragile now! WEAK!! i can fall apart anytime now! or am i already falling apart? i really hope to wake up one day and it's all just a nightmare....will this ever end? or it'd just add up to the various "emotions" i feel...

she was in love after all....

and so finally they met, after such long intervals and only chatting through phone calls and most of the times texting each other addictively, they finally met! wow... its just like a whole new beginning. and they kept texting each other even more passionately and addictively, missing each other dearly. they just couldn't get enough of each other. it was something beautifully romantic, the chemistry between them. then came a day, he said he's falling madly in love with her then another day, he said he's fallen in love with her and finally, he said it! he said "i love you"she was overwhelmed, happy. but she doesn't know whats she's feeling for him she's afraid of replying him back because she was so convinced that whatever she felt for him wasn't love. he said he'd wait she wants him but she doesn't want him. she was confused but she knew something was there! what she never knew was that it was love she felt all along for him. he said he'd wait for her until she would reply those same three words to him. and he did waited. they kept getting closer and intimate, no psychical relationship involved between them, it was something so romantic, passionate but yet innocent. they fought, they laughed, they were like every other couples but they were not. he was perfect! he's everything a girl could ever wish for and he belonged to her, she didn't know. she kept drifting away from him.. he kept reaching for her untill one day he just let her drift away.... they were apart. after sometime they met. he asked her for her heart and this time she gave it! she realized her love for him and the fear of losing the first love of her life. she never loved anyone. but now she loves him. she never felt happier or so sure about her feelings. she thought this one can finally last. sadly.. this ain't a fairy tale. he was stressed under some personal issues and finally said to her....his feelings have changed and he can't be with anyone right now. she was shattered into a million pieces, thats beyond repair! and so she just let him go hoping that he'd come to her someday... and hoping to get over him too. she still laughs at herself, standing before the mirror and says" it was love after all........" if only she knew it earlier...

adhesive...

it took me all this years to actually realize that I'm bad with adhesives!i just stuck something on the wall and itactually took me a while to realize that it don't actually doesnt fit there and now i cant remove it cos the adhesive is too darn strong! goddammit! hideous! i just ruined the look of my room. great!! it gonna cost me another whole day to actually remove the damn thing off the wall! well ill just think of something else to do with it while i get it "unstuck" to the wall..

speak english, will ya please?

just another day after classes and going back irritated. my lecturers drive me nuts! they cant speak proper English! arrrggh!! i cant take it! this is madness! how can someone actually teach varsity students with such bad English? not cool! at all! the only lesson i enjoy is computer applications.thats because my lecturer is actually a white dude, gary Bruce wright, hahaha hallelujah! well, at least somebody speaks ENGLISH! my economics lecturer, i call her my English nightmare. her English is so broken i can actually correct every single word she speaks and guess what? she's teaching economics! gosh.. i thought Halloween has already passed! she pronounces class rep as class RAPE! prime minister as preeme minister! what the ......! every time when its her lesson its more like a one man freak show because every word she says are mispronounced, ALL THE TIME through out the lecture! and the whole class will be actually making fun of her. its a pity actually but its not even fair to students that she actually got hired! rude is partially one issue but fundamentally she has to IMPROVE her English!

fast food anyone??

McD, PizzaHut, Dominos, Burger King. KFC, Sushi King, A&W thats just a few to list down, there's more of it actualy. let's just admit it we just can't resist them, can we? just forget about the lame "fast food is fattening" bullcrap which some dimwitted moron came up with. we all love food and most of us wish to eat all they can without even having the thought of gaining weight. but who cares. certainly not me, i dont give a damn about it! definately no! i eat my heart out and i make sure i dont have the tiniest regret of what and how much i ate, thats just a waste of emotion n time! just because victoria and paris hilton look like a bunch of broom sticks doesn't mean that we have too. right? and yeah the deadly equation, fast food = cholestrol+fat,it is true but, c'mon get real! try looking at it from a different perspective; we have people dying in the most pathetic and peculiar ways; drug abuse, alcohol abuse, car crashes, murders, suicides yada yada, so which is better? enjoying every single bite of your food and getting a cardiac arrest, which (TRUST ME) takes at least a few years till it actually happens or to starve yourself watch everyone else eat EXCEPT yourself without even having the chance to let your taste buds get adventurous then the next thing you know you got stabbed while walking by some random psycho? im being very realistic here, FYI. so... McDonalds anyone??